Songs that inspire
by Hogwarts Online II
Summary: Written for the Song Fic Challenge. Songs that inspire us to write about the characters we love.
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** The Kind

**Character:** Regulus Black

**Name:** Thanatos Angelos Girl/ Brooke

**House:** Hufflepuff

**Link to Song:** h t t p : / / www . youtube . com / watch ?v=OMFuQL1_gl8

* * *

Greed, it was like being in love, it robbed your mind and defiled your bed. The players of the game die all around Regulus. All because of their beliefs and a small mark of forever slavery on their arms. The mark was painful; it showed that you didn't own yourself or anything you had. He, the Dark Lord, owned every fiber of your being.

Anyone can have greed for the best of the best whether it's for a fully pureblood world or women but in reality the Dark Lord will get the best. In reality, you'll just be fighting for the scraps he lets you have. You can never really own anything. You must give everything to him, and if not his dark and almost immortal, ancient power would suffocate you and bend you to his will. Regulus knew all this. He learned this and saw through his observant eyes the truth. He learned all these things in a year that men haven't known in decades or if they did they denied it.

Regulus wanted to cut his left arm off. To own his self would be a marvelous thing but he couldn't. All he could do though was dream and wish for a thing that would be considered treason from the Dark Lord. Regulus was tired of many things. He was tired of the Dark Lord and the scam he tried to sell, that he was a pureblood, he was tired of being compared to his brother, and he was tired of shamelessly hurting people for a man and a cause he was losing faith and confidence in.

Regulus wanted to fix the injustices delivered to him, he couldn't serve himself and the Dark Lord. He had to choose and he knew he would have to leave this "fairytale" of being a Death Eater. It would probably end up being his death but Regulus learned something that he thought could weaken the Dark Lord and maybe show the world he wasn't immortal but the more he learned about the horcruxes the more he realized how he would most likely have to die.

But he didn't care. Regulus refused to listen to his "truth" again and again that was nothing more than a broken record of lies. He would cut the cord starting now. He would be his own person. He wished he could do other things, but he had dug his grave and now he needed to finish what he started.

"Reggie?" A voice that he knew better than the back of his hand called. He turned around and looked into eyes full of life and joy. Regulus forced the corner of his mouth to twitch upward. They lied: smiling took more work and strength than frowning.

"Coming." He told the man with his emerald streak in his hair. He watched the man stretch out on his couch. Regulus turned away from the snow-covered window and the white-blanketed streets to go back to Scabior.

Regulus wondered what he would think if he knew what Regulus was planning. Would he care? After all he was a free spirited man and he certainly was intoxicating with his wild streak. He could find company anywhere he swung those hips of his. What was he doing with him anyway? Regulus was nothing but the woeful child, the person condemned to d-. Regulus didn't want to say that word when applied to him. No matter how many times he had seen it, he was still fearful of it. After all, he was only mortal.

"Regulus, you're slower than my grandmother!" Scabior yelled with his chiming laugh at the end.

Regulus's heart panged. He didn't know why he took the task on his on shoulders, he shouldn't have to. Some deity or something should carry the immortal burden. Not him. He didn't want to leave his mother, no matter how wretched she was, or his father, no matter how cold he was, or his brother, no matter how far they had grown apart with hatred being the only thing tying them together (at least on Sirius's end).

He didn't hear the footsteps, all he heard was lips parting and a breath being let out right beside Regulus's ear, making him shiver. Arms wrapped around him and Scabior's fiery vanilla scent attacked his senses.

"You know I'm impatient." Fingertips played with Regulus's hair.

"I know. I'm sorry." Regulus turned to face Scabior with a small grin.

_Regulus truly was sorry._


	2. Chapter 2

**Name:** To Walk Alone

**Character:** Severus Snape

**House:** Gryffindor

**Name:** Phoenixica24/Jessi

**Link:** h t t p : / / www . youtube . com / watch ?v=gWNRUVMboq4

* * *

**To Walk Alone:**

Blackness. Gray and black. No white. No color. Just gray and black.

No people either. Just him. Alone. Walking down this road. No clue where he was going. Just walking. Away from his shattered dreams, away from his broken heart. Walking down this boulevard, alone.

Even he was black. His clothes were black. His hair was black. His eyes were black. His heart was as black as the rest of him, stained with the blood of countless innocent people. Which was why she hadn't wanted him, had chosen that arrogant snotrag over him. Well, luck to the happy couple, as long as she lived.

She had been the only color in his life. The only other person that had walked this road with him, even for a little bit.

_No._ She'd never truly walked this road with him. Not even a little bit. She'd walked the road up there, above him, always just out of reach.

So many times he'd wished someone up there would find him, but now...his only hope was gone. Gone. Run off with another man, a happier man. And their son.

"I've always walked alone."

Yes, the words sounded right. Fitting. Like they were written for him.

His shadow walked beside him, a constant reminder of the blackness within him. Always there, like the beating of his shallow heart, only caring about appearances, always trying so hard, until he'd lost sight of who he was, what he wanted...until she was gone.

In that one instant, if he had known that that one word would cause him to lose her forever, he would have stopped, hugged her instead of cursing her, kissed her instead of hurting her, but now it was too late...

No one had ever read between the lines, ever seen the real him, the hurt and scared him, no one had ever checked his vital signs to see just how screwed up his life was and had been, no, no one had cared even that much, just assumed he was alive because he breathed, walked, and talked-but no, no, he wasn't alive at all, who could be? On this lonely road they called his 'life'.

What a laugh...if only he knew how to laugh anymore. Not that it made a difference. Walking down this boulevard of his own broken dreams, watching other, happier lives flash by, and wishing jealously that they continued to stay that way, happy and blissfully unaware of the price paid for their dear, sweet lives to stay so clean and innocent. Unaware that his life had been forfeited.

That he had been set on this black road to nowhere and told to keep walking until he reached the end. And he did. Because he had nothing else.

He could vaguely hear the nurse whispering urgently,

"He's going insane...keeps saying he's walking something...the only thing he's walking is the line in his mind between sanity and insanity!"

And then the Headmaster's voice:

"You're not alone Severus. You never have been. Not only is Lily here, worried sick, I might add, but so am I-"

"So are we." Another voice cut in. Minerva?

A chorus of "Aye's" and "Yes's" and "Please come back's" filled the room, and Severus opened his eyes to see Lily there beside him, and Albus, and his mother, and even James and Remus and Sirius, who all looked very ashamed. But he just smiled at them, a real smile, because Lily's smile had reminded him how, and they knew not to say a word, lest they lose their forgiveness.

For anything was better than walking that long dark road alone.


	3. Chapter 3

**Title: **Fall Far and Never Land

**Character: **Albus Dumbledore

**House: **Gryffindor

**Name: **Inkfire aka Azzie

**Song: **_Falling_ by Florence + The Machine (h t t p : / / w w w . y o u t u b e . c o m / w a t c h ? v = v P L r q K r n Y t s)

* * *

_I've fallen out of favour and I've fallen from grace_

_Fallen out of trees and I've fallen on my face_

_Fallen out of taxis, out of windows too_

_Fell in your opinion when I fell in love with you_

_Oh-ooh, oh-ooh_

_Sometimes I wish for falling, wish for the release_

_Wish for falling through the air to give me some relief_

_Because falling's not the problem, when I'm falling I'm in peace_

_It's only when I hit the ground that it causes all the grief_

_Oh-ooh, oh-ooh_

_This is a song for a scribbled out name_

_And my love keeps writing again and again_

_This is a song for a scribbled out name_

_And my love keeps writing again and again_

_And again and again and again…_

_I've danced myself up, drunk myself down_

_Found people to love, loved people too drunk_

_I'm not scared to jump, I'm not scared to fall_

_If there was nowhere to land I wouldn't be scared at all _

_At all, at all, at all… All…_

_Sometimes I wish for falling, wish for the release_

_Wish for falling through the air to give me some relief_

_Because falling's not the problem, when I'm falling I'm in peace_

_It's only when I hit the ground that it causes all the grief_

* * *

Green light rocketed his way, and as he felt the breath fly out of him – one last time – he was free again.

* * *

_Flying, falling, flying, flying._

He'd always liked to fly. He loved the wind, the height, the high of that feeling – unreachable, the width of empty spaces, blue as his eyes, large as his soul.

It was lonely up there, the calm and beautiful kind, a contemplating, reflective solitude. He soared into the sky and breathed, and his father, his siblings, his house and tiny little life became only spots in the distance, small, so small.

* * *

Staring into Gellert Grindelwald's eyes was like the first spark of something irrevocably dangerous.

Fly did his mind and fall did his heart; collapsing from an arrogantly thrust-out ribcage to depths and depths of boiling, unknown, frightful territories he'd never known his own being to hold. Gellert had burning eyes and something distinctively wild in his crooked grin and always moving hands. He talked and talked, always way too fast, and his words swept Albus away to schemes and plans, vivid worlds, dizzying ideas. In two hours it was like life without Gellert would never be conceivable again.

It never was.

* * *

He wasn't scared at all.

He was eighteen and brilliant and the world belonged to hungry, powerful young men such as him and his friend, him and Gellert, Gellert and him bonded forever by this quest of theirs. He was not scared but his mind was flying and his heart was racing, there were no boundaries. Nothing but clear ether and this limitless world to embrace and to conquer. He was flying, drunk on mad ideas, on the thrill of power. He rose and rose and rose and _rose _–

* * *

This world of theirs was a part of the whole, and as such it had rules they thought they were beyond.

Impeccable rules and clinical facts that dictated their flight: for one might soar straight up through the air, and oughtn't forget that only lines may shoot right ahead and never veer a hair's breadth.

Human beings flew high and fast, higher and higher until they reached a peak, tracing a curve that was destiny-shaped. And then the curve arched and slid into descent, and they fell, fell, _fell_ – drawn downwards by irresistible pulls, only to land, or perhaps to crash.

The faster, the harder.

* * *

They thought they saw no ground and could only go up, faster, _more _– more power or more beauty, more fury and more hope. Nothing could tie them down, nothing could slow their race except, perhaps, themselves. They didn't think of that then, believing they flew when they were already falling – boundless, limitless, dropping off reality in a release they called freedom.

And all along, gravity held them.

* * *

One second he just was and the next he was fallen. He knew of his demise at the very moment movement turned into fact, the sheer second it hit – flying lights and a scream, just one, it dug hard enough into his memory – and then he stood somehow. His corpse stood, crashed and crushed and utterly shattered, though he was dead on the ground – _he should have been._

Fifty feet under with responsibility weighting hard upon his head.

* * *

Gellert fled and Albus fell. Again.

Nobody saw it and nobody could know. To the world he was climbing still – to his brother he was dead and all the rest was no more. He became great, as he'd been destined always.

Falling was the air rushing past him. Falling was sliding, his whole life slipping away, his high hopes flying into oblivion. Falling was emptiness carefully concealed, just opening his hands, obeying the pull. He gave all he had – all he had was his mind.

He gave it to the world, openly.

He taught and smiled and invented, like it mattered.

* * *

He wrote complex theories on wrinkled parchment, words and words and curses and curses carrying him into the night until his own existence caught up with him.

If he was nothing this was a tribute to the world, his greatness, immense, nameless. If he was alive it was something else, something he didn't want to know. If he was alive still, if he allowed himself to feel, then every theory blended together – and knowledge sang a song to him, a bitter song for a scribbled-out name he'd never be able to escape.

_(Gellert. Gellert – )_

He crossed it out and crumpled the page.

It kept coming back under his quill.

_(Gellert – Ariana – no – )_

His love kept writing, again and again, surging back from forgotten abysses, it never died. Perhaps he loved his sister's murderer. Or perhaps he had blood – himself – on his hands.

He craved the emptiness, then, and drowned his thinking in yet another discovery.

* * *

Love lived forever, he learned, and human beings did not.

Love was huge and cruel and love was everything. It hurt, it burned, refusing the relief of blissful oblivion – it never let him rest for he did not deserve that chance. Love was the scar on the inside of his soul, the images engraved into him, flashing by before he could reach sleep. Ariana fell and Gellert fell and his mother fell, graceful and young forever, though it was always him hitting the ground. It was his fate, and only fair.

One day he would fall, too, from some great height, and someone would shut their eyes tight and remember the arching of his body as he plummetted towards ground…

* * *

He died, one day, at the top of the highest tower in a castle he called his only home.

He flew, he fell, and never felt the ground.

_(And for him the phoenix sang, sad, unbearably sweet.)_


	4. Chapter 4

**Title: Baby Come Home**

**Character: Theodore Nott**

**House: Ravenclaw**

**Name: Couture Girl/C.G.**

**Link: ****http : / / www . youtube . com / watch?v=yOJoLdvhfFA**

* * *

It had been a year since they had parted.

But for Theodore Nott it felt like a lifetime. He regretted so much of his foolishness. How he wanted to turn back time and stop himself from hurting Luna. Everything was so horrible and worthless without her. Theo had difficulty breathing, because his chest felt tight without her. His eyes would often burn with drunken tears and his head would feel like a giant was pounding on it.

Nott would have preferred his father's tortures or even Voldemort's memory spell that had made him relive his mother's death. He would have chosen these over the unbearable pain that he felt without his Luna.

He was often alone feeling hollow, and he was reclusive. Zabini and Malfoy or Parkinson would invite him for a drink. So he tried to remedy the hurt he felt by drinking. It was stupid and funny, he knew. Stupid because his pain and his memories of Luna would multiply when he was drunk and only for a nanosecond he would feel numb. As for the funny part, he had promised himself that he would never be a drunk – like that old bastard, his father. Theodore had also promised Luna that he would never hurt her.

Guess he wasn't good with promises.

...

Theodore had decided to go out to a muggle pub for some drinks.

His manor in Salem evoked too many memories of Luna and him when they had moved there after the Battle. Every time he turned, something reminded him of her. The crystal dinner table, his room, the library – especially the shelves where he had books of exotic magical creatures, and the garden where there were purple foxgloves – Luna's favorite flower. His mind had had enough. He would go back to London, and maybe with some fresh air, he could finally rid himself of this pain, but he was kidding himself. If he got rid of the pain, he got rid of Luna. And that was the last thing he wanted.

It was almost midnight, and after struggling to walk straight he exited the muggle pub. Holding his breath and trying not to fall, he tried to apparate back to his manor in England. But a dreamy voice interrupted his actions. "You'll splinch yourself. The only good thing about splinching yourself would be that if you splinch your ears, Nargles can't enter your head and make your brain fuzzy." Theodore knew her too well; there was that hint of preoccupation in her voice.

It must have been the alcohol – maybe it was that he was in pain or that he had lost his mind and he wanted to lie to himself. His green eyes widened, and slowly and with much strength he turned around. Luna was standing there with a slight frown on her face. Her white blonde hair was shining by the moon's light and her lips were as red as ever, contrasting with her alabaster skin, pronouncing her big dreamy sapphire eyes. She looked so frail; he was afraid to touch her if she was real – what if her broke her? Or even worse prove that he had finally gone mad without her, that he was imagining her there.

She walked toward him. He stayed silent and didn't move at all. Her hands rose and he held his breath. When her small dainty hands held his cheek, he breathed out as if he were wounded, leaning into her warm touch, his eyes never leaving hers.

"Am I dreaming?" he whispered to her.

Luna's frown stayed. "You need to take care of those Wrackspurts in your brain, Theodore. It's affecting you. You're not you."

It must have been a dream, he thought. But he didn't care. He thought this was the closest he would ever be to her again. Thinking it was a dream, he leaned into her, his lips landing on hers for a few seconds. Before he could deepen the kiss, Luna pushed him away.

"No," she said strongly.

Theodore hadn't been expecting it; in his drunken state he stumbled onto the floor. He pushed his eyes with his hands, whispering harshly to himself, "Not even in my dreams you want me..."

In moments, she was sitting next to him, running her hand through his hair, making him look at her. Theodore felt like a cat when she did that; he felt like purring.

"You need to go back home, Theodore. Does Milly know that you're here?" she asked him airily. He nodded. His house elf didn't need to be told where he was going; she already knew. "Then can you call for her, so she can apparate with you. I'll be less worried if she comes for you."

"Why do you care?" he asked incredulously.

Before she got to answer, a male voice interrupted, "Luna, I've been looking everywhere for you! I thought the Heliopaths had kidnapped you!"

Theodore froze and looked up. There looking down at them was a weedy man with long brown hair that stopped at his shoulders and brown eyes that bugged out. A sudden rush of jealously entered Theodore, making him want to hurt this man.

"Don't be silly, Rolf, Heliopaths are only in hot places, like Ethiopia, not London where it's always raining," Luna said dreamily, her eyes still on Theodore.

This Rolf guy looked embarrassed. "Right. Ethiopia. Luna, we need to go, it's almost midnight."

His hand reached for hers, but she just pulled away from him. "You go ahead, Rolf, I'm going to take my friend back to his house." Rolf eyed Nott with suspicion and he tried again, but this time Luna smiled at him. "I'll be alright, Rolf, I'm wearing my Butterbeer necklace, no harm will come my way, and besides, Theodore here is a master in Dark Arts. Aren't you, Theodore?"

Now he was convinced he was dreaming. Not wanting to ruin it, he nodded. Luna's smiled stayed, and with a small wave she told Rolf to leave. Which he did, after a few minutes of reassurance.

...

Theodore side-apparated with Luna to his family manor. He was in a state of reality and dream as the alcohol was leaving his system, so he was content to just hold her and smell her cinnamon scent for a few seconds. He told his crying house elf – she was so happy that Miss Luna had returned – to run a bath for him.

Quickly taking his bath and drinking a hangover potion, he made his way to his room, and was surprised to see Luna still there. He didn't get a word out when Luna reprimanded him, "Wrackspurts don't make you drink into oblivion, Theodore. When I found you all by yourself on the street, I thought you were going to pass out. People are still struggling, they may have robbed you or – "

He kissed her, and this time she didn't push him away. He lost himself into the sea of memories that they both shared, and he was in nirvana as her small hands ran through his messy hair. Her kiss melted him and made him feel they were the only ones in this world.

"Please don't, Theo..." Luna whispered. "I have to leave..."

He shook his head, holding her tightly. "No, I can't anymore. Please, Luna, just stay here with me for a little while. If you want you can leave in the morning, but I need to tell you this," Theodore said in a rushed voice, afraid that she would disappear at any moment.

Luna looked at him with those huge blue eyes of her, waiting for his words.

"I should have fought for you. I should have stopped Daphne when she kissed me. But I didn't, and I hate myself for it. Because you're the only one I need. And I let you down, and I'm so sorry," he breathed. Theodore hated saying sorry, but this was Luna, and he needed her like air. "And I tried to get you out of my system after you left me, but I couldn't – I can't. You're still inside me, and it's making me go crazy to know that you're inside me but you're so far away."

"Stop," Luna whispered. She didn't want to hear it anymore.

"No, please listen," he said while smelling her hair. "I know you hate me, I hate myself too. I should have been the one you wanted, but I was sick. I couldn't leave that black hole I was in. But now, I'm ready, I want to make everything better. I want you to believe in me again. Just give me another chance, and I promise you I'll be the best you need, Luna." Theodore was on his knees, hugging her legs.

Luna wanted to put her hands on his hair, but she stopped herself. "It's too late. We're long gone, we're undone, Theodore," she murmured dreamily, blocking herself from him.

"No, it's not too late, Luna." He stood up now, holding her face. "I can fix this, let me fix it. Just be here with me, and I can fix myself, all for your love, all for you. I'll do it. Just let me, and I promise I won't break you."

Luna smiled sadly. "You've promise a lot, Theodore."

He nodded. "And I broke some of my promises, but these I know I won't break. I can't because when I first met you I lost myself and I lost myself more than I ever knew when you left. And maybe it's too late, but you told me that it was destiny for us to meet, that we needed to be together, and I didn't believe it, but now I do. With you Luna, I'm full. Without you, I'm nothing."

She did want to believe him, she really did. But he wasn't ready.

Slowly taking his hands away from her face, she walked backwards. "I'm sorry, Theo, but you need more time. You aren't healed completely and I need my time. I still need space."

Theodore's eyes widened – no, it couldn't be. "It's that Rolf guy, isn't it?" he questioned venomously. "You love _him_, instead of _me_."

Luna shook her head. "No, I will never love him as I love you. It's just you need help, Theodore. You're still in that hole, and not even I can get you out. You're in too deep." Her wand was out; she was ready to apparate away.

But before she could leave he was there, holding her to him again, so tightly that she almost gave up and let him kiss her. She pushed him away as carefully as she could. "Let your mind keep you strong. And when it's strong, I'll be there. You just have to love yourself before you love me."

She stood on her toes and kissed him on his mouth, and like that she was gone, like she had never existed, as if she had never been there.

If it weren't for her cinnamon scent, Theodore would have believed that he had made it all up in his mind.


	5. Chapter 5

**Title**: A Thousand Angels  
**Character**: Rabastan Lestrange  
**House**: Ravenclaw  
**Name**: Gamma Orionis (Gamma)  
**Link:** http: / / www. youtube. com / watch?v=p0j5XWnb8aE

* * *

Murder was not the way that Rabastan Lestrange had expected it to be. He had heard his brother – and the other Death Eaters – talk about the rush it gave them to kill, to steal a life all for their own, and he had expected to share in that euphoria, but when he finally got the chance, when he raised his wand and delivered the killing curse, watched the Mudblood crumple to the ground, all he felt was horror.

"Rab? Are you all right?"

Rodolphus's voice cut through the haze of shock and terror, and Rabastan looked up at his brother dazedly. What was he supposed to say? Rabastan had been begging his brother ever since he took the Dark Mark to be allowed to accompany him on a mission so he might prove his own worth to the Dark Lord, and Rodolphus had been so proud of him for finally working up the nerve to kill, and he couldn't back down now. He wanted to run away and hide.

But he knew he must not do that.

"You look like you've just seen a ghost…" Rodolphus's tone was light, as though he was expecting that to make Rabastan feel better.

He shot his brother a deathly glare – of _course_ he looked like he'd just seen a ghost.

That was the realization dawning.

Rabastan was numb through the rest of the evening, hiding the body and checking for witnesses as per his brother's instructions, while Rodolphus looked on. He forced himself to nod and say, "I'm fine" when he asked.

When the brothers returned home, Rabastan was sure that their parents could tell. Rodolphus fed them a lie about having been out at a dance or some such, and though they nodded and seemed to accept this explanation, Rabastan was positive – _beyond_ positive – that his crimes were visible to even the most casual of onlookers.

They all knew. They all knew what he had done. His parents might _look_ as though they believed that their two perfect sons had done no wrong, but _they knew. They had to._

Rabastan dared not cry in front of Rodolphus – _brave Rodolphus, strong Rodolphus_– while the two of them went upstairs, though he desperately wanted to. He was doing everything he could to keep his brother convinced that he had enjoyed the kill, despite the way he shook at the mere thought of what he had done. But when Rabastan was in his shaded room, alone at last and able to cry, he could not make the tears fall.

He looked into his mirror, and it was hard to believe what the thin, frail boy in the glass had done. The horror wasn't showing – Rabastan looked just as innocent in his reflection as he had before he had become a murderer.

He shuddered and shivered and looked away, grateful for the comforting warmth of the bed he crawled into. He lay on his back, forcing his body to relax into the mattress and clearing his mind of thought and emotion as best he could. For a few hours of lying there, he thought he was going to be all right.

And then the nightmares started.

Rabastan had suffered hallucinations in the past – usually when he was ill – but what he saw the night after that first murder was nothing like the dreams and visions he had experienced before.

He was lying in bed, staring numbly up at the ceiling, when voices began to sound in the back of his mind. They were faint sounds at first, but they wouldn't go away. Rabastan felt terror rising in his throat as they became clearer and clearer and then…

Angels. They were angels. He could see them now, their light illuminating his bedroom, a thousand angels, surrounding him, all around his bed, watching him.

His first instinct was to run. He tried to move his legs, but they felt numb and weak and he staggered as he got out of bed, collapsing to the ground. The angels looked down on him, their expressions unreadable.

They'd come to get him, he thought wildly, as he tried to drag himself to his feet. They'd come to punish him for his crime. His eyes moved towards his wand, but no sooner had he seen it than it was gone. He tried to stand, but his legs gave out completely and he fell to his knees. Crawling towards the door desperately, clawing the ground, Rabastan tried to scream as he found the door only getting further away with every motion.

He couldn't escape them. They controlled the fight. They controlled him. They controlled _everything._

There were so many that they blinded him now. They blocked out the rest of his world, made it impossible to see _anything_ except them. He was trapped, completely trapped.

Two thousand eyes watched as he started to scream.

"Rab! Rab!"

_Oh,_ the sound of Rodolphus's voice was the sweetest thing Rabastan had heard in his life. He clawed wildly at the air around him, his fingers passing right through the bodies of the angels, until he felt his nails dig into soft, warm, familiar flesh. Strong arms wrapped around him, and Rodolphus's voice was right in his ear now. "It's all right, Rab, it's all right, I've got you."

He squeezed his eyes shut, shaking violently, and when he opened them again, the angels were invisible and all he could see was his brother's face, his concerned expression as he looked down on him.

"R- Rod…" Rabastan whispered. His voice was high-pitched and sounded pitiful even to him, but he could not find it in him to speak any louder.

"It's all right, everything's all right…" Rodolphus soothed. "Shh… don't talk…"

Rabastan nodded and buried his face in his brother's shoulder, allowing himself to be held. He sat in the shadowy room, rocking slowly back and forth, Rodolphus's arms around him as he whispered in his ear, "It's all right, Rab, it's all right, it was just a nightmare, you're safe…"

Rabastan did feel safer with his brother holding him like that, but he knew he was wrong. Everything wasn't all right. It wasn't true.

The angels were coming to get him.


	6. Chapter 6

**Character: Sirius Black**

**House: Ravenclaw**

**Name: Narcissa-Weasly/Karin**

**Title: The Show Must Go On**

**Link: **h t tp: / / www . youtube . com / watch?v=KnVEbHLtp6U&ob=av2n

* * *

**Empty spaces - what are we living for?**

Cousins,**once they were best friends**

**Abandoned places - I guess we know the score.  
On and on!  
Does anybody know what we are looking for?**

Sirius fell backwards. Into the veil. He saw into Bella's shocked eyes. She hadn't tried to kill him. He knew she hadn't, that was why he had taken this risk. No matter how much they hated each other now, she would never want to kill him. They had grown up together, with their wild rebellious Black mind's they had been so alike. They had gone mad together, their minds twisting in pain. If it wasn't for her actions, he could have been on her side of this war.

By killing Sirius Bellatrix had killed herself too in so many ways. Sirius was the last male in the Black family. By killing him, she executes her own ancient bloodline. She loved him in her own twisted way, killing him was killing the last piece of sanity she had left.

**Another hero - another mindless crime.  
Behind the curtain, in the pantomime.  
Hold the line!  
Does anybody want to take it anymore?  
The Show must go on!  
The Show must go on! Yeah!  
Inside my heart is breaking,  
My make-up may be flaking,  
But my smile, still, stays on!**

"Black, Sirius", McGonagall read of the top of her list.

All the first years looked nervous, except Sirius Black. With a smile on his face Sirius put the old hat on his head. He was sure that he was going to be in Slytherin with his cousins. He could already see Cissy and Meda smile and wave from their table. Bella didn't wave, but she didn't move her black eyes from Sirius, waiting. Bella had told him that Slytherin was the best and that was why he most of all wanted to be a Slytherin, he would do anything for Bella.

"GRIFFINDOR!" The hat shouted and the room went dead quiet. Sirius was the first to wake up from the shock, staring at the Slytherin table he saw that almost everyone was staring at him, the only one that didn't look at him was Bella.

Then everyone woke up, the Gryffindors gave him a little applause. The next name on the list was called up. The dinner started. Everything was spinning around him. What had just happened? When he woke up he was alone in a corridor, he had no clue where the other first years were.

"Sirius!" A voice called, he turned around and there was Bella. Her wild dark curls fell down around her face and her black eyes shone of rage. Right behind her was Meda, a copy of her older sister, but with softer eyes. In the back was Narcissa with her angelic white hair and her nose wrinkled as if he had a bad smell.

"I would like to call you by surname, but you are no longer worthy ours," Bella spited.

Sirius winced. The way she said _ours_made it clear she meant her and her sisters. The crime he was guilty of was unforgivable.

"Bella! Hex the stupid hat, it's wrong! I'm a Slytherin, you know it," Sirius almost begged.

"The hat is never wrong Sirius," said Bella almost softly. "You are no longer one of us. I hope Reglarus isn't such a disappointment as you."

It felt like his heart broke into a million sharp pieces. Sirius wanted to cry, but he couldn't show himself as weak. Never. That was one of Bella's many lessons. So he smiles. He smiles.

"I promise I won't make you disappointed Bellatrix, you may hate me, but you won't be disappointed."

**Whatever happens, I'll leave it all to chance.  
Another heartache - another failed romance.  
On and on...  
Does anybody know what we are living for?  
I guess I'm learning  
I must be warmer now..  
I'll soon be turning, round the corner now.  
Outside the dawn is breaking,  
But inside in the dark I'm aching to be free!**

It was the summer after Sirius' fifth year. Being home was a hell as always. In the kitchen his parents was talking and laughing with Reglarus. Reglarus, the perfect child. He on the other side was locked into the house, irritating the rest of the family with red and gold posters. Pretended it didn't hurt when his parents punished him, learning more and more how to put distance between them. Soon, he thought, soon he would be gone.

A poof was heard as someone apparated into the house.

"Bellatrix," he heard her mother say, not so welcoming. Alburga thought a woman's place was in the home, raising pure blooded children. Not fighting as Bellatrix did.

Bella didn't take time for answering. She quickly moved to the big family tree on the wall. She didn't even give Sirius a look, but he saw betrayal, anger and the smallest piece of sadness in her eyes. The tip of her wand was glowing and with fast movement she stuck it in the wall. The second after, she was gone.

Sirius and the rest of the family gathered around the family tree in silence. Between Bellatrix and Narcissa was a smoking hole.

He stared; shocked over the fact that Andy had dared to take the step. He felt the aching inside grow stronger. Soon also he would be free. One more for Bella to burn.

**The Show must go on!  
The Show must go on! Yeah,yeah!  
Ooh! Inside my heart is breaking!  
My make-up may be flaking...  
But my smile, still, stays on!  
Yeah! oh oh oh**

My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies,  
Fairy tales of yesterday, will grow but never die,  
I can fly, my friends!

Bella and Sirius laughed as they ran around in the yard. Bella's black curls flew behind her. The fact that Bella was almost twice as old as the only six year old Sirius didn't matter. Andromeda was watching her with a smile as she took care for the little Reglarus. Narcissa sat next to them, careful with her new dress so it wouldn't get dirty.

"You can't catch me, you can't catch me!" Sirius sang as he run around.

Bella was just after him and after half a minute or so, she had caught him.

"You need to try harder," she said with a laugh, "I will always catch you, but you need to try harder".

"Okay Bella!" and Sirius was away again. This time he climbed up in an old apple tree, the game started again and Bellatrix was after him again. With a jump so big that he must have used magic Sirius jumped from the apple tree to a bigger tree next to it.

"I can see the world Bella! I can see the whole world!" he called and Bella laughed with him.

**The Show must go on! Yeah!  
The Show must go on!  
I'll face it with a grin!  
I'm never giving in!  
On with the show!**

Azkaban was as cold and unwelcoming as ever. He hasn't been here for a long time, just some weeks, but to Sirius it felt like forever. James and Lily were dead. DEAD! And he could do nothing. Peter had escaped and Remus thought it was him, Sirius! That he had betrayed them. He laughed high and manic at the irony and how hopeless this situation was.

From far away he heard an echo of his laugh.

The air turn even colder around him, and even if he can't see them he knows the dementors is near. They move past often. Sometimes with new prisoners, deatheaters. Sometimes without, just to see if he has any happiness left. Just that alone is a good joke, why should he have any happiness?

He hear the echo again, closer. It isn't any echo.

It is Bella.

He jump up from the corner he has been sitting in. Shaking, hitting the door, trying to get to Bella. Screaming the worst insults he can find to her. Bella stop laughing and just stare at Sirius. He is thinner than before, but not as thin as he will be later. Bella on the other hand has just come to Azkaban, her head is still held high and proud.

"This is your fault Bella, you and your damn dark lord's fault! I'm happy he is dead! He killed James and Lily and now he is dead!"

Sirius sinks to the ground, crying.

Surprisingly, Bella does the same.

They cry, they cry for a long time. But slowly, the cries twist. If no one cares that you cry. Why should you cry? So they stop.

**I'll top the bill!**

"Why don't you just go completely mad Bella?"

**I'll overkill!**

"Someone needs to kill the dirty mudbloods. You?"

**I have to find the will to carry on!**

"Harry needs me, I must get out."

**On with the show!**

Bellatrix give out a short laugh.

"We both do it for family, cousin. I fight for our pureblood families and you for the godson of yours."

Sirius laughs. He sees the irony once again.

**On with the show!**

They laughed together in madness. Only a thin wall of stone in between them. The other prisoners shiver as they hear the sound of the crazy Blacks.


	7. Chapter 7

_**Title: So this is love**_

_**Character: Dr. Granger (Father)**_

_**Name: Slytherin Head (Monse)**_

_Disclaimer - I do not own anything. Not Harry Potter, nor the lyrics of the song used._

_A/N - While reading this, please listen to:_

_http : / www. youtube. com / watch ? v= h8UcQsk _ Z4I remove all the spaces._

* * *

_Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, Mr and Mrs Snape._

I watched along with everyone else as the two of you made your way to the dance floor. I gasp slightly as I hear the song that's being played. It was the song I used to play for you on the piano whenever your mum was out of town. It was the only song you would fall asleep to, before you went to Hogwarts.

A pang of sadness hits within my heart at knowing that you're no longer the little girl that had danced on top of my feet during your cousin's wedding so many years ago. The little girl that shouted with joy as I picked her up and swung her in my baby girl, whom I held as sleep finally claimed her, while your mother and I continued to slowly dance the night away."

You're now a beautiful woman.

Intelligent yet caring. I can already tell that some day, you'll be a great mother.

Good god, I never thought that someday I would be old enough to be a grandfather. I had foolishly thought that you would forever be my little girl. Yet, here I stand, with your mother besides me crying her eyes out. I'm not too far from doing the same myself.

Your ex-professors are all smiling as they watch the two of you dance.

Your best friends are all cheering for a kiss.

People all around us begin to clink their champagne glasses.

The two of you look at each other, each with a slight blush on your faces at the thought of public affection. After all, you're both very private people.

Soon, everyone is chanting for a kiss.

Another glance, and you pull him down to kiss him. It took him by surprise, he didn't think you were that physically strong. But before long, he's kissing you back.

Everyone cheers loudly and I can't help but laugh at each memory that I have of you scrunching up your tiny face every time you saw someone kiss. Now – now, I watch as you and your husband share a kiss in front of everyone.

He loves you, at least of that much I'm certain. And he knows that the day he breaks your heart, I'll be break him in half. Wizard or not.

A heavy sigh escapes from my lips. How is it that you grew up so fast? It seems like I had closed my eyes for just a moment and when I opened them, a strong grown woman had taken the place of my baby. All I have now to prove that you indeed had been my little girl, are pictures inside the many family albums that your mother insisted on buying way before you were born.

A couple of seconds after the kiss, I pull your mother with me onto the dance floor so that the two of us can dance with you and Severus. Taking your small hand in mine, I slowly dance along to the beat of the song with you.

I tell you how proud I am of you. Of everything you've done throughout your life. I may not have approved of you sending us abroad with absolutely no memory of you, but your mother and I understood that all you had wanted to do was to protect us.

"Don't cry," I tell you this as the tears begin fall. I wipe the them from your eyes; soft brown, just like your mother's.

You're absolutely beautiful, and just as stunning as she had been the day we married.

I hold you now in my arms as we both begin to cry. I honestly don't care who sees. They can bugger off, because it isn't their daughter who is leaving them. It's mine.

Oh, I know I'll see you again. But no longer will you be sitting at our breakfast table each morning eating the fruit salad you love so much. No longer will I come home to find you sprawled out on the sitting room floor with books all over the place.

I hold you tighter as it all hits home. You're a married woman now. My little girl left a long time ago and no matter how much I wish it weren't true, it is.

I squeeze you one last time before kissing your cheek and handing you back to your husband. Taking your mother's hand, I begin to dance with her. Harry and Ginny are next to join us, followed by Ginny's parents.

As we slowly waltz next to the two of you, we hear Severus ask, "So, this is what makes life divine?"

Your face shines as you smile at him before you tell him, "So it would seem."

I see the look in your husband's eyes as the two you dace, at this moment, the only person in the room is you. Nothing else in the world matters to him, because he's wondering how it is that you could give him your heart, your love, your very being.

He leans down to kiss you once again and I look away. Looking down at your mother, I press a kiss to her forehead before pulling her close to me. Her head is resting under my chin and she wraps her arms tight around me.

Some day, you and Severus will be in the same position as us. And I pray to God, that the two of you are lucky enough to love each other as much as I've loved your mother. Because, aside from you, she's the most important woman in the universe to me, and I would die if anything were to happen to her.

Closing my eyes, I lose myself to the song...and the memories of the past...

_So this is love, mmm_

_So this is love_

_So this is what makes life divine_

_I'm all aglow,mmm_

_And now I know_

_The key to all heaven is mine_

_My heart has wings,mmm_

_And I can fly_

_I'll touch every star in the sky_

_So this is the miracle_

_That I've been dreaming of,mmm_

_So this is love_


	8. Chapter 8

**Title**: Someone Like You

**Character**: Hermione Granger

**Name:** WelcomeToLolaLand/Lola

**House:** Ravenclaw

**Link:** h ttp : / / www . youtube . com / watch?v=hLQl3WQQoQ0  (remove the spaces, please hit play when I indicate you)

_Disclaimer: I own nothing, just the crazy ideas._

* * *

She gazed through the window of her compartment. It was raining. She smiled. That was something she had missed while living in Paris. The smell of rain and wet grass, she just loved it. It brought back memories of drinking hot chocolate and reading a good book in her cozy bed. She sighed. It had been four years since she left, and now she was back for her best friend's wedding. She was excited because she was going to see her family and friends but, she was also afraid because she was going to see him.

_She decided to follow the career of a Healer. The best school, Florence Nightingale's University, was in Paris. So, she packed up and left. But he had followed her. At first he was angry because she left without saying good-bye, not even a note, but she knew he was going to try to stop her and convince her of not leaving. And he did so. He tried to take her back, but finally understood that she needed to follow her dreams. So he decided to move in with her. _

_Everything was perfect at the beginning; of course, they were living in the city of love. They visited the museums, took walks in the parks, boat rides in the Sein, had dinner at pretty and expensive restaurants, came back to their apartment and made love until they were exhausted, and finally, fell asleep in each other arms. But it couldn't last forever. School was getting harder; she had to stay until very late at night, doing assignments and lab practices. When she arrived home, she was really exhausted, he wanted to go out, to be with her, but all she wanted to do was sleep. Sometimes, she arrived and he was already asleep on the couch, waiting for her. They barely saw each other. A year had passed and their relationship was deteriorating already._

_One day when she got home, a surprise was expecting her. He had made a romantic dinner for them. They ate, chat, drank wine and laugh like in good old times. She stared into his eyes, those gray eyes that watch her lovingly, and realized that she loved him. She leaned and kiss him deeply. When they separated, he was grinning. She smiled sheepishly. What happened next, she didn't expect. He knelt and took out a little velvet box from his pocket. She stared at him in shock. Those six words had condemned them. _

"_Hermione Granger, will you marry me?" _

_Of course she had said yes. She loved him, for Merlin's sake! But she was just not ready to be a wife. He had arranged a simple Muggle wedding at the Ministry. She had to meet him there at 6 in the afternoon, after school. The truth is, she left him waiting. _

The sudden stop brought her back to reality. She looked through the window, King Cross Station, she was finally here. She grabbed her bag, her coat and left the compartment. When she stepped out of the train she regretted wearing a dress instead of pants, it was freezing. Unbelievable… it was almost spring and still seemed like winter. She left her bag on the floor and started putting her coat on when a shout startled her.

"Hermione!" She turned around to see Harry Potter waving and walking towards her. She let out a squeal and ran to meet him. She flung her arms around him and hugged him hard. Oh, how much she had missed him!

The boy, no, the man, had not changed at all. He was still a few inches taller than her and rather skinny, though he had built up muscles. She guessed it was because all the training as an Auror. But he still had that sincere smile that she loved, that made her feel safe.

"Oh Harry," she sighed. "I've missed you so much!"

He smiled tenderly. "I've missed you too, 'Mione." He broke up the hug and went to pick up her bag. "Let's go have something to eat so I can fill you up with all that has happened."

Hermione nodded vigorously. She was hungry, and she wanted to know how much had happened since she left. Harry approached her and gave her his arm, she smiled and took it.

"How's Ginny?" Hermione asked while they exited the station. London looked just as she remembered, a few new stores but aside from that, it was just her same old city.

"She's going crazy with all the last minute arrangements of the wedding." He made a face that had her laughing.

"I can imagine that," she giggled. "And I bet Molly is not helping." Harry cringed, and Hermione laughed harder.

"Well, I wanted something small and simple," he sighed. "But with Ginny being the Holly Head Harpies captain-"

"And you being Harry Potter, that just couldn't be." Hermione smiled.

"Well, it seems so." Harry smiled back to her friend. "I have to go pick up a package from Hagrid at the Leaky Cauldron, and then we can go have lunch."

"Perfect" she answered.

"So, how was it in Paris?"

And she told him everything. How amazing the city was. How she loved the food, especially the bread accompanied by coffee, which was now kind of her best friend after long nights of study. She described him the school, the classrooms, the labs, the amazing professors, the hospital where she did her practice.

"Good, it sounds amazing, just like the letters you wrote me." They had arrived to the Leaky Cauldron. "Did you make any friends?"

She was about to answer when a picture in a newspaper resting on a table called her attention. It was of a beautiful woman with blonde hair and green eyes, she seemed rather familiar. She was standing in front of a huge building and surrounded by children. It seemed she was in a charity event, she lowered her gaze to read the heading and her heart stopped.

"**Astoria Malfoy assists to the opening ceremony of St. Mungo's Orphanage"**

She staggered backwards, the words _Astoria Malfoy_, ringing in her head. She turned around to look at Harry, who was staring at her with a sad look on his eyes. He sighed and approached her, "Wait here." He waited for Tom to bring him the package. He had hoped he will be able to prepare her before telling her. She would've found it out sooner or later. He sighed. He knew that she still was in love with him, even though she was the one that didn't want to get married. She had been scared, but now it was too late.

_Malfoy! Astoria Malfoy… he had gotten married! She couldn't believe it… she thought… she was so stupid to think that he was still in love with her, that he was going to be waiting for her… but she was wrong…. _

When she went back to reality, she was sitting in a small restaurant. Harry was staring at her, worriedly.

She wanted to scream, to run away, to punch someone… but at the same time she felt as if all the energy had left her. A waitress approached them; Harry ordered two coffees and two sandwiches. No, she needed something stronger.

"Bring me a scotch," her voice sounded rough. "Please," she added. The waitress looked at her, then at Harry and nodded. She must look really bad.

She finally looked at Harry, who was staring at her intently.

"Why?" she mumbled. Why this had happened to her?

Harry sighed and opened his briefcase. He took out what looked like a newspaper and handed it to her. It was a Daily Prophet, dated January 8th, more than two months ago. She looked at her friend quizzically, he just pointed to the newspaper. She unfolded it and there it was, in front page a big picture of a newlywed couple.

"**The Malfoy's and the Greengrass's unite their families."**

"The wedding was about a month ago," Harry told her. "It was held at Malfoy Manor. They got engaged a month before."

The woman was wearing a beautiful wedding dress with sleeves; she was smiling radiantly which made her look more gorgeous than she was, if that was even possible. She was waving at the camera with the hand holding her bouquet, while the other was around her new husband´s arm. Hermione's eyes drifted to the man in the picture.

He was taller than she remembered. As always, he was wearing black dressing robes that contrasted with his pale skin. He was not muscular but he had broad shoulders and an athletic body because of playing Quidditch daily. Of course you couldn't see this on the picture, but she knew. She now focused on his face; he looked more mature now, no longer a boy. His features had hardened, he had a small tight smile but what killed her were his eyes. Those gray eyes that used to watch her lovingly were now emotionless.

The waitress brought the coffees and her drink. She drank it all at once. The liquor burned her throat, anesthetizing her senses.

"I didn't want to tell you by letter," Harry explained. She raised her eyes to meet her friend's. Harry looked calm, but she could see sadness in his eyes. "I knew you were coming soon, so I waited till now." She just nodded.

She stared at the picture for a while, a rush of emotions feeling her. Sadness, wonder, shame, envy, hatred, but most of all, regret. She could've been the woman in the picture. She could've been Mrs. Malfoy. She had to talk to him.

She looked at Harry. Her friend watch her intently and then sighed. He knew she was going to react like this, he knew she was going to go looking for him.

"Let's eat and then you can go," he mumbled, while the waitress brought them the food.

"Thank you, Harry," she said with a weak smile.

* * *

She sat in a bench from a small park in Wiltshire. It was a beautiful town, full of nice and quiet landscapes. She had been waiting for an hour when she saw him.

He liked to come here, to just seat and think. She always wondered how a boy that was such a jerk could like his own quiet moments.

When Draco Malfoy saw her, he didn't act surprised or shocked, as if he already knew she was coming. He kept walking toward the park until he finally reached her. He didn't even look at her; he just sat there, next to her. She waited, but it seemed he was not going to say anything. She didn't know how to start, so she just stared into the sky.

_(Start playing the song now)_

For a while everything was silent. A couple with a little boy arrived to the park. They had brought their son to play. The woman laughed at the scene of her husband and child playing and laughing. Hermione couldn't help but feel a stab of pain in her heart.

"I heard that you settled down," she said softly, trying to contain the hurt in her voice. He didn't say anything. "You finally found someone else and you are married now."

She saw him nod through the corner of her eyes. She wanted to shout at him, to slap him, to cry, to tell him she still was in love with him. She inhaled deeply, she was being selfish. It had been her choice not to marry him and there was no turning back.

"I guess she gave you things I didn't give you," she sighed. _Like more time, and dedication, _she thought. She kept quiet, to see if he was going to say something. Nothing. "Why are you so quiet? It isn't like you to hold back your tongue."

He sighed. "I'm tired, Hermione," he said. She felt strange hearing her name coming out of his lips again. "I waited," he mumbled, "but now I'm moving on."

"I'm sorry to come without an invitation. But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it." She turned around to look straight into his face. "I had hoped you'd see my face,  
Aand that you'd be reminded that for me it isn't over..."

He didn't want to look into those brown eyes again. It had hurt to forget them; it had been hard for him. Still was. But nonetheless, he slowly turned his face to look at her. Warm, that's how he felt when he stared into those eyes. The long eyelashes, the freckles, the small nose, her pink lips, everything was just as he remembered.

"It's impressive how time flies, don't you think?" he said, turning his gaze away from her.

"Yes," she said, "it seems like only yesterday we were having the time of our lives."

She saw how his expression had saddened when he looked at her. It hurt him too. She had to stop this. He was having his opportunity to be happy, to have a life, a family. A sad smile crept to her lips. She sighed.

"I hope someday I can find someone like you," she said sadly. He stared at her profile. He could see the sadness in her eyes, in her smile, hear it in her voice. But it had been her choice. "I wish nothing but the best for you too. I hope you'll have a good life with your wife-" her voice broke. She stood up, it was time to leave.

He stood up as well. He watched her as she started walking, but then she turned around abruptly. She walked swiftly until she was just a few inches away from him, he could smell her vanilla perfume.

"Don't forget me," she begged. They stared into each others eyes. Finally, he let out a small smile.

"I never will, Hermione Granger," he said softly, "you were the love of my life." He gave her a quick kiss on the lips, turned around and left.

She touched her lips, still relishing their last kiss. Their farewell. Nothing would ever compare to what she had felt for him, but there weren't any more worries left. She had finally let go of him completely. Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?

* * *

The wedding was just magnificent. Bill and Fleur had lent their garden at Shell Cottage to build up the tents for the ceremony and the party. The place was full of memories, some sad, but most of this entire place represented hope.

Ginny looked gorgeous in her wedding dress. It was empire cut with a waist band made of gold beads and thread. Her makeup was simple and her hair was up in a loose bun. Harry wore a simple black tuxedo, but he looked stunning, always smiling. They both looked radiant, they were finally getting married.

The bridesmaids' dresses were soft silver. Ginny wanted to change the color to gold, she thought Hermione would be uncomfortable with the color. The thing was, she didn't care. It was not her day to complain, it was her best friend's day to be happy and enjoy their moment.

The ceremony was beautiful. Everyone had come. All their classmates, their teachers, the Aurors, all the people that had fought with them and won the war. Including him. His mother had been crucial to them winning. Harry had grown fond of Narcissa Malfoy, he thought of how Lily had risked everything for him, as this woman had risked everything for her son. Hermione had seen Narcissa Malfoy arrived accompanied by her son and her daughter-in-law. As soon as the ceremony was over, he was gone. Only his wife and his mother had stayed. It was the best for both of them. They needed to finally close the chapter and heal their wounds.

The party was just as memorable. The Weasleys, as always, were the first ones to start dancing bringing everyone they could along with them. She found a quiet spot, in a table a little far away from the dance floor. She was drinking her first glass of champagne when a voice startled her.

"Hermione?" She raised her head to meet a pair of blue eyes. A pair of eyes that she knew quite well.

"Hello, Ron," she said smiling. He had become distant when he found out about her and Malfoy. She knew he was in love with her, as she had been of him. But he hadn't done anything, and she was tired of waiting. So when Malfoy appeared in her life, she had just fallen for him. But she had missed him; he was after all one of her best friends.

"Do you want to dance?" he asked, holding out his hand for her. She looked at him and nodded.

"Yes, I'd love to."

They walked towards the dance floor and began slow dancing. He asked her questions about Paris, about her studies, about her work. He made her laugh like in the good all times. When he went quiet, they just stared into each others eyes.

"I've missed you, Hermione," he whispered. She let herself smile. She felt good in his arms, she felt safe, she felt warm, and she felt loved. It had been a while since she felt that way. Perhaps this was meant to be.

"I've missed you too, Ronald Weasley," she sighed and rested her head in his shoulder. She was finally home.


	9. Chapter 9

**Title:** The War Outside

**Character:** Colin Creevy

**House:** Hufflepuff

**Name:** Love From A Muggle/Kara

**The song:** http : / / www . youtube . com / watch?v=YFEDTtKaFzU

_Disclaimer: I don't own anything._

**Author's note:** Warning. Character death.

* * *

Chills ran up my spine as I overheard Ginny's father telling her she couldn't fight because she was too young. All around us the students were saying goodbye to younger students, and younger friends.

People were crying, begging each other not to fight while others stood firm and explained why they had to. Once all the adults left the Room of Requirement, Ginny turned around and faced me with a solemn expression on her face.

"Colin, listen, you're my best friend. I have to fight. I can't stand being the only person in my family not fighting. I don't care what dad says." Ginny's eyes looked at me determined.

"At least your father is telling you to stay. My father doesn't even know there's a war going on," I hear myself telling her. I must have pouted because Ginny walks over to me and embraces me in a hug.

"Oh, Colin, I'm sure he knows something is going on. You didn't tell him?" Her eyes looked at me both worried and confused.

"No, I didn't. I didn't want him to worry about my brother and I." My voice was weak, but my thoughts were the same as hers. I wanted to fight.

"This might be the last time we see each other. Are you fighting?" Ginny embraced me in another quick hug.

"I don't know yet. I have to talk to Dennis first." I placed my hands in my pocket so she wouldn't see them sweating with fear.

She embraced me in a third hug, this time, lingering a bit longer. I could have sworn I saw tears in her big, grey eyes as she let go. She then did something she's never done before. She kissed my cheek lightly. Her soft lips brushed up against my cheek. When she pulled apart, automatically my left hand went towards the cheek she kissed. She formed a half smile at my reaction.

"Don't be so surprised. You're my best friend and I wanted you to know that I care(,)." Ginny said sweetly. She was always kind to me. I felt throat choking and growing tight. No, I wasn't going to let her see me cry.

She quickly hugged me one last time.

"What's with all the hugging?" I ask as she lets go. She smiled her beautiful smile that I've always liked.

"Colin, come find me after the war," she said looking like she wanted to give me a final hug. I knew she was serious about fighting when she kept wanting to give me hugs. She wasn't one to show me love, because we were just best friends. But when death was on the line, she wanted to show that she cared. Ginny kept glancing at me as if she was itching to give one last hug, so I hugged her tight catching her by surprise.

"I'll be alright," I whispered in her ear as I let go. I watched her leave the room, not looking back.

I turned around and faced my brother.

"You two hugged a lot. How come you didn't tell her you loved her?" he asked as he put his hands in the pockets of his jeans.

"It didn't seem right. To me, I love her. To her, I'm just her best friend. That's something I will always be and I'll have to get use to it," I say sadly coping my brother and placing my hands in my pockets once more.

"You should have told her," Dennis replied as I nodded in agreement.

The castle shook after he said that.

"War is raging on outside the door," Dennis said as we both looked in that direction. It was then when I noticed we were the last siblings in the room. Everyone must have left after Ginny left.

"You should go fight." Dennis couldn't even look me in the eye. He shuffled his foot on the ground, trying to find something to look at other than himself.

"What about you and Pa?" I asked feeling nervous.

"We'll be alright. I can go home to him. Fighting isn't my thing anyways. I'm more of a poet." My brother looked up at me. I could tell he wanted to cry.

"Dennis, if I don't make it back," I started to say feeling very dry in my throat.

"Don't," he said half angry, half upset. We felt the castle shake again.

"Go. I need to get out there," I instructed him as I pulled my wand from my pocket.

"Do you even know how to fight?" He was scared, and to be honest so was I.

"Yes, I do. Thanks to Harry and the Dumbledore's Army group he started, I know how. Hopefully, I won't have to kill anyone," I said frowning. I gripped my wand tighter.

"I'll come looking for you after the war is over, he says sadly.

"No. You are to go home straight to Pa. Don't come. I don't want you killed." I felt the big brother voice in me come out as I spoke down to him. I was the oldest son. It was my duty to fight in our family's name.

"Pa's already lost mum, what if we lose you too?" Dennis' eyes filled with tears now. I felt mine come, but held them back. If I was to be a soldier, I was to be strong and not weak.

"I said go." I couldn't look at him now. The tears filled my vision as I felt him hug me. I couldn't hug him back.

"Colin, I love you," My brother said before he left.

I wiped my tears away with my sleeve as I heard him go through the secret passage way. When I opened my eyes, I was alone in the room while war was going on outside.

"It's now or never," I whispered to myself. I gripped my wand, and braced myself. I stepped outside of the Room of Requirement.

The castle shook once more. I found everyone in the Great Hall. I went straight up to Ginny.

"What's going on?" I ask.

"Evacuation again," she replies.

"Again? I thought they just did that when Harry came back."

"That was for the younger students. This one's for students who don't want to fight all."

"I heard He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named's voice as I left the Room of Requirement."

"Did Dennis leave?" Ginny asked me.

"Yes, fighting's not his-" I was interrupted.

"Absolutely NOT Creevy, go!" A shudder made me turn around as I heard Professor McGonagall's voice.

"But I want to fight," I protested stomping my foot. Which made me think it was too childish.

"No," she said firmly.

"But she gets to." I pointed at Ginny. Again, it might have been childish, but I wanted to do my duty to the school.

"It's up to her parents, and they both are here somewhere. Yours however, you only have a dad, no mum. Remember?"

"Fine." I glance at Ginny, she gives me a weird look and a shrug and walks off not saying goodbye or anything. Since she was my only hope, I turn around and walk out the Great Hall.

I made sure I was clear out of eyesight from Professor McGonagall when I turned the opposite way straight onto the lawn of Hogwarts. I came outside, I wanted, no needed to see the courtyard, and the Quidditch pitch.

I ran frantically past people as they tried coming back to the castle to escape the war. I tripped over a rock and stared up at the night sky. I hated the night, and gripped my wand tighter. Night time was when my mother died years ago. I shuddered. Why was I thinking about my mother all of a sudden? Now of all places.

I closed my eyes and put my hands over my head as I saw the barrier protecting the castle being broken by a curse. It shattered into pieces all around me. I expected to feel pain of some sort, and half expected it to be like glass, but instead it was just a bubble. As it touched the ground, it exploded into some kind of fiery substance and disappeared.

After the barrier broke, I ran as far away from the Castle as I could. I found myself turning a corner and saw the Quidditch Pitch. I dropped my wand and stared in shock. Flames covered every part of the pitch. I don't know who put it on fire, but I heard laughter coming from the start of the pitch. I hid behind a tree not too far from the Quidditch Pitch, I did not want to get caught by the Death Eaters.

All around me were battles of good and evil. Tiny spats between wizard children and teens, and grown ups. The Death Eaters didn't care who they killed as long as they were dead. I froze. It didn't occur to me how serious war really was.

My hands clenched tight around an invisible wand. I panicked, looked at the ground and started searching for my wand. I could have sworn I heard my name being called and turned around facing a giant spider. He attacked me before I could get my wand. I stumbled back and hit my head hard on the tree. The spider bit me once more. I knew I hated spiders for a reason. Filthy creatures.

My name was called once more as a stunning spell directly hit the spider causing it to fall over. I don't know who was calling my name, but the person came close.

"NO, NO! Colin, wake up! Please, wake up!" The voice panicked and shook my shoulders. I opened my eyes, or tried to. I squinted. My brother. Bloody hell, what was he doing back?

"Dennis, what in the bloody hell are you doing here?" I coughed. I didn't curse normally, but I was scared out of my wits for his safety.

"You're hurt," Dennis said tearing off a sleeve of his shirt and wrapping it around my left arm.

"No use. The poison's in me now." I cough again. I tried sitting up but couldn't find the strength. I was very weak.

"Damn it. You should have come back with me." Tears formed in his eyes as they spilled over. I couldn't look at him.

"I know. I didn't realize how bad war was till it was too late." I coughed again.

I could feel the poison working in me spreading through my veins. No potion could save me now. I thought of Mum's lullaby that Pa sang to her. I heard it play in my head as I stared at my brother.

""Hold onto this lullaby

Even when the music's gone."

Mum's lullaby. Pa sang it for her when she was sick and dying. I was seven, Dennis was five when she died, much too young to know what was going on. I knew what was going on with her. I remembered everything Pa did for her. Including sing her favorite song as she was dying. I coughed, closed my eyes, and opened them. My brother's face was staring into my eyes.

"Dennis, I don't want you to see me like this, but I don't want you to leave either." My throat was very dry. I was starting to lose feelings in my body.

"I'm not leaving you."

"You could get killed too."

"No, Colin."

"Dennis, I feel cold." I felt my brother put his robe around my small body, but that didn't help.

"Damn it, Colin, I'll never forgive you." Dennis stood up.

"Don't leave me." I beg. He sits back down and grips my hand tight.

"Dennis, tell Pa I'm sorry I was so stupid." If I could cry, I would, but I felt nothing left in me.

"Don't." Dennis shook his head and squeezed my hand tight. "Don't die," he pleaded.

"I'm sorry. Remember me, Dennis," I say in a small voice. The poison from the spider has taken its toll on my body. I bilked once, saw Dennis cry, blinked twice.

A tunnel of light is catching my attention now. I walked towards it.

Dennis felt my hands slip from his as I left. I don't know how, but I could see myself above my body and see him crying from pain over me. He will be okay.


	10. Chapter 10

**Title: **I Care Too Much

**Character: **Harry Potter

**House: **Slytherin

**Name: **Dramionefan4life/Tiff

**Link:** http : / / www . youtube . com / watch?v=eHbNU9WuVgw

**A.N.: This story contains brief mentions of self-harm. It's how I took the story so if you don't like it, please just don't read it.**

* * *

Harry thought about the events of the past year. His fifth year at Hogwarts was the worst one yet. The Defense Against the Dark Arts professor, Dolores Umbridge, had had it out for him since his "trial" the summer before. During the year, she gave him detention every time he did something that she didn't approve of, which seemed to be almost every day.

Due to her lack of practical instruction, Harry created a club to teach others defense. It worked out well until Umbridge broke it up. He had managed to teach the others enough to protect themselves before that happened though, which was more than Umbridge could say.

The most notable thing that year was his visions. Whenever Voldemort had strong feelings about something, Harry had a vision of what he was doing. After he saw Mr. Weasley get attacked, Dumbledore had him start Occlumency lessons with Snape. Let's just say those didn't turn out well.

The worst came at the end of the year. The vision showed Sirius in trouble at the Ministry. In retrospect he wished that he had told someone instead of running off on his own. If he had, Sirius likely would still be alive.

That was two weeks ago. Two weeks of blaming himself for Sirius' death. People tried to tell him that it wasn't his fault, that he couldn't have known it was a trap and that Sirius would die. It fell on deaf ears though as Harry didn't believe them at all. It was his fault. Nothing anyone said or did would change that.

What most didn't know was that he relationship he had with Siri was a lot deeper than godfather/godson. Through letters and secret meetings since Siri's escape in Harry's third year, the two had fallen in love. No one knew of course, except Remus Lupin. He wasn't sure how but Remus knew without being told. He was happy for them even if he thought Harry was a little young.

Everyone believed Harry's guilt came from Sirius being his godfather. Remus however knew that it was from killing his lover, the only man who ever truly loved him.

Thinking about all this brought the tears and pain back tenfold. Harry looked down at his arm and the knife in his hand. He couldn't stand the emotional pain of it all. The guilt was too much. He brought the blade to his already scared arm. He dragged it across and watched the red river run across his wrist.

_I tear my heart open, _

_I sew myself shut_

_My weakness is _

_That I care too much_

_My scars remind us_

_That the past is real_

_I tear my heart open_

_Just to feel_

Cutting probably wasn't the best way to release the pain, but it was the only way he knew of to not focus on his emotional pain. Physical pain allowed him to think of something else. His relatives decided that this summer they wanted him to be invisible instead of working his ass off. Though it was nice to not have an endless list of chores, this summer he really could have used the distraction.

He looked at the clock beside his bed and saw that it was only three o'clock in the afternoon. There were still too many hours in the day. He decided to go out for a walk, maybe it would help clear his head.

_Drunk and I'm feeling down_

_And I just want to be alone_

_I'm pissed cause you came around_

_Why don't you just go home_

'_Cause you channel all your pain_

_And I can't help you fix yourself_

_You're making me insane_

_All I can say is_

Harry looked up at his window with glazed eyes. He had gotten back from his walk several hours ago, bottle in hand. After several hours of being alone in his room, he was effectively drunk.

Incessant pecking on his window reminded him of the owl that had arrived. He slowly rose from his position on his bed and stumbled to his window. The owl he let in looked a little peeved at the speed in which it was let in. As soon as Harry took the letter from the owl it left. He looked down at the letter and recognized the hand writing as Remus. He opened it wondering what Remus had to say.

_Harry,_

_I apologize for not writing sooner. Sirius' death has been hard on me. He was my best friend. When I lost him to Azkaban, I lost myself. Getting him back only to lose him again…it was almost too much to handle._

_I realize that you are probably having an even harder time than me. For this reason, I tried to get Dumbledore to agree to let you spend the summer here, but he refuses. I will keep trying but you will probably have to wait until your birthday to leave your relatives._

_I am worried about you; so I am going to pop in at midnight to check on you._

_Until then,_

_Remus_

Harry looked at the clock. It read 11:55. _Oh great. He'll be here in five minutes. This should be interesting._

He sighed and went back to his bed. He might as well be comfortable for this conversation.

Promptly at midnight Remus appeared in his room with a pop. Harry tried the best he could to hid the scars on his arm and his drunken state. "Hi, Remus."

"Hello, Harry. How are you holding up?"

"Not well." Harry started crying, something which seemed to be a normal occurrence as of late. "I miss him so much, Remy."

"I know Harry. He would want us to celebrate the life he had though and not mourn him too much."

"Not mourn him? How do you expect me not to mourn the man I love? He was everything to me, Remus. I miss him so much! I can't just move on with my life like nothing happened, especially when I'm the reason he is dead."

"I know you feel responsible, Harry but you aren't. He loved you so much. He thought you were in danger so he went to help the man he loved. He once told me he'd give his life to save yours. He has proved just how much he meant that, just how much he loved you."

Harry was outright sobbing. "He shouldn't have been there at all. He shouldn't have been trying to protect me. He shouldn't…he shouldn't be dead! He should be alive, holding me in his arms." Harry broke down. Remus brought Harry into his arms as he cried for all the times he wouldn't have with Siri. He cried for the man he loved and lost.

It took fifteen minutes for Harry to calm down enough to stop hyperventilating and another fifteen for him to calm completely.

"It's all my fault, Remus. He'd be alive if it weren't for me." Harry subconsciously rubbed his wrist. Though it wasn't bleeding anymore, it was still tender enough to get him some relief.

Remus noticed Harry's movements. "Harry, what's wrong with your arm?" Seeing that Harry had no intention of telling him, he grabbed Harry's arm. "Harry, what have you done?"

Harry pulled his arm back. "It doesn't matter what I've done. You do what you need to to get through this and I'll do what I need to do."

"Harry, that's not healthy. There are other ways to get through the pain."

"But not ones that make the pain go away."

"You need to stop this, Harry."

"Don't tell me what to do, Remus."

"I'm only looking out for you."

"I don't need you to look out for me. The last person who did is dead!"

"Harry, I care…"

"I think it's time you left, Remus."

"But, Harry…"

"I said leave! Get out!"

Remus wanted to protest but he knew now was not the time. "Fine, Harry, I'll leave but I will be back soon." With a pop Remus was gone, leaving Harry once again alone in his room.

_I tear myself open,_

_I sew myself shut_

_My weakness is_

_That I care too much_

_Our scars remind us_

_That the past is real_

_I tear my heart open_

_Just to feel_

Weeks passed and with it more scars appeared on Harry's arm. At one point he tried to stop but he found himself drinking more. He had to choose the lesser evil of the two and he decided he'd rather mar his arms then drink himself stupid.

He had to admit, he was a little surprised that Remus hadn't come back to check on him. _Maybe he realized what a lost cause I am and that his time was best spent elsewhere. It's better this way. Everyone around me dies. I don't want Remy to die. He and everyone else should just stay away if they wish to live._

_I tried to help you once_

_Against my own advice_

_I saw you going down_

_But you never realized_

_That you're drowning in the water_

_So I offered you my hand_

_Compassions in my nature_

_Tonight is our last stand_

Harry had started to think about ending it all for good when an owl appeared at his window. He really didn't want to let it in, but he knew if he didn't the pecking would get louder and likely attract attention from his uncle, which he just would rather go without. He finally lifted himself off his bed, retrieved the letter from the owl before giving it a treat. Looking at the envelop he realized it was once again from Remus.

_Harry,_

_I hope this letter finds you better than the last. I'm sorry for not writing earlier but I've been busy with Order business._

_How are you doing? Have you stopped that nasty habit of yours? I'm worried about you Harry. Please, take care of yourself._

_I am hoping to get you out of there soon, at the latest your birthday._

_I have to go but I will let you know soon when I will be coming for you._

_Take care of yourself,_

_Remus_

"By my birthday," Harry grumbled. "Why did I expect it to be any sooner."

_I tear myself open,_

_I sew myself shut_

_My weakness is_

_That I care too much_

_Our scars remind us_

_That the past is real_

_I tear my heart open_

_Just to feel_

_I'm drunk and I'm feeling down_

_And I just want to be alone_

_You shouldn't ever come around_

_Why don't you just go home?_

_Cause you're drowning in the water_

_And I tried to grab your hand_

_And I left my heart open_

_But you didn't understand_

_But you didn't understand_

_Go fix yourself_

The weeks leading to Harry's birthday passed much like those previous. He had received only one letter during that time. It was from Remus telling him that he and Tonks would be there to get him at noon, the day before his birthday.

He had the ultimate decision to make, the biggest of his life. Would he join his love in the afterlife or would he go with his honorary godfather and try to move on. He had been thinking on both of them over the past weeks and though his actions had yet to change, he could almost see that it would be worth sticking around in this life.

He caught sight of something out of the corner of his eye. It was a picture of him and Sirius last Christmas. It was the last time that they had spent time alone together. Though they had saw each other and briefly talked at the Ministry, they had been more focused on the battle around them.

The picture was taken during their date on New Year's Day. They had wanted to go out the night before but as the Order was having a party, they couldn't. Someone would have suspected something if they had both disappeared so they opted to stay and make an excuse to go out the next day. They told everyone they wanted to spend the day together, a godfather/godson day. There were some who thought it wasn't a good idea for it wasn't safe. Harry and Sirius won the argument by saying they were going to Muggle London.

They had had a great day and a romantic dinner just the two of them. That was the best day of his life, just being with the man he loved. Harry thought about this love and what he might say about Harry's behavior and actions since his death. _He would be disappointed. Sirius would say that I was taking the coward's way out. I can't have him disappointed in me, even in death. It's decided then. I'll try to pick up my life and move on. Maybe I'll find love again, maybe I won't. What I do know is what Siri would want me to do: move on and live my life. I'll use these past couple of months to better my life._ With those thoughts in mind Harry went to bed looking forward to moving on, starting anew.

_I can't help you fix yourself_

_But at least I can say I tried_

_I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life_

_I can't help you fix yourself_

_But at least I can say I tried_

_I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life_

When Harry woke up in the morning he packed his things and waited for noon to roll around.

As the clock struck noon there was a knock at the door. Having warned his aunt and uncle that he'd be leaving, not that they cared, he answered the door.

"Hi, Remus, Tonks. I'm all packed and ready to go."

Remus was shocked to say the least. He hadn't expected Harry to be so happy to leave. "Uh, alright, Harry. Grab your trunk and we'll go to Headquarters."

Harry grabbed his trunk and followed the two adults out of the house. They had to walk a little down the street to get past the wards in order to Apparate. He looked at the house once more before they popped away. He swore to himself and his dead lover that he would try to make the most of his life.

_I tear myself open,_

_I sew myself shut_

_My weakness is_

_That I care too much_

_Our scars remind us_

_That the past is real_

_I tear my heart open_

_Just to feel_

_I tear myself open,_

_I sew myself shut_

_My weakness is_

_That I care too much_

_Our scars remind us_

_That the past is real_

_I tear my heart open_

_Just to feel_


End file.
